"Just Be Cool and Yourself"

I have a problem of saying whatever comes to my mind and more often than not, its wrong. I'm like really struggling on whether i should i just try to censor myself and portray something of an Ideal godly women or just being me. now let me first start by saying i have every intention and desire to become a Godly woman but im not there at all yet. The real me is a goofy laid back chill person. and we should all know what a godly woman is (well i still figuring out what that is). but yeaa i feel like when im around other christians and i'm myself they judge me. i feel like some people pretend and i can totally see when some people are faking and tryin to be more than they are. I dont know which is worse honestly (being yourself or pretending to be more godly than u are). For like a day i decided i wanted to act like i was more godly and shield my struggles in front of people, but i decided if i was gon change for anyone it would be for God and he would have to do that for me cuz i clearly can change on my own. I have this problem especially when i think about when im around guys. for some reason around CO is like a big deal if you like someone and  if like they you. now for a while i tried to resist my urges to speak my mind and say reckless things (now when i say reckless i dont mean "really reckless", i know the things that shouldnt be said around christian guys).. because i wanted to be liked by the guys but i had a serious revelation. So what if i tried to have people thinking im way more spiritually mature than i am, and they fell for me than when we get married they find out that i have sooo much learning to go.(hypothetically of course). thats not fair, and another thing is ,the guy i know God has for me gon like me..the real me. so at this point is whatevvv. imma just be me. im not gon try to fake and pretend like everything is just peachy clean in my walk with God when it isn't. i think what im trying to get at is that imma be REAL. i feel like that word is thrown around so much and everybody wanna be real. but when i say imma be real i mean imma be real with myself and if im real with myself imma have to be real with others...