So im definitely calm about the situation now cuz at first i wasnt but it still pisses me off. a couple days someone said i wasnt a christian. WTF? that is just something i cant freaking deal with is someone telling me about my walk with Jesus. Ok me as in ME (myself), i question it sometimes because i fail all the time and just alot of things. but i heard every real christian questions themselves for the simple fact God is perfect and we are not so its hard to accept and remember and deal with were perfect in his eyes and even though we do deserve his wrath and hell, were not going to get it. becoming a christian i see alot of my sin that i once didnt. (i mean i always knew i sinned but i never really cared until i became a christian) so of course im gonna question whether my faith is strong enough for Him cause i see how messed up i am but at the end of the day if God allows me to see it, I confess and run back to Him and identify with being a christian, its just so freaking hard. if this wasnt real to me i would not freaking be going thru this and this would not be so hard. its easy to live and sin but im trying to die to mines and just cuz im not freaking broadcasting it to the world about how im so condemned or how i found victory in it doesnt mean im not trying . But yeaa a friend and me were talking and she told me about a conversation she and someone else had about how they dont think im a true christian and that pissed me off. Like seriously im always getting spiritually picked on by people lol. i really dont care what i say in front of people cause im not a phoney and im not about to pretend to be someone im not, so people always come up to me tryna be all profound and what not preaching at me. and like forreal that would be totally fine with me if i asked them to or felt like they were doing it because they ginually (spell check) care for my walk but i just think people love to hear themselves talk and look for people so they can puff up there chest honestly. and i guess im a easy target. i know im not spiritually mature yet and not where i wanna or need to be. but i appreciate my childlike faith sometimes, and not making it harder than it needs to be. but whatever..i just would never try to judge someone else's faith or atleast say it to them. but yeaa on that note..i really think im about to just keep my distance with some people.... and its funny i just checked my daily scripture and it was peter 3:8-9 which talks about unity and brotherly love and dont repay evil so i guess it was a sign. idk how i am gonna balance the effect of how a friendship with people but not wanting to get close to people for fear that they will see my sin and judge me on it. it sucks it has to be like that cuz if u cant be vulnerable with the body..then who with? maybe i just need to get involved with a different ministry.
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